


Kick in the Eye

by dsa_archivist



Category: due South
Genre: Challenge Response, Drama, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-06-22
Updated: 1999-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-11 00:38:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11137791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsa_archivist/pseuds/dsa_archivist
Summary: This story is a sequel toSomething Must Break.





	Kick in the Eye

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Speranza, the archivist: this story was once archived at [Due South Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Due_South_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Due South Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/duesoutharchive).
    
    
     Disclaimer: is mine everyone else belongs to Alliance. The songs and
    artists quoted in here belong to Beggars Banquet with exception of Depeche
    Mode, which is owned by Sire Records, no infringement intended. 
    
                    It's been a long, miserable week. This story was theraphy.
    It owes so much  to Peter Murphy ( 'Cuts You Up'),  Bauhaus ('Kick in
    the Eye &' 'Bela Lugosi's Dead') and Depeche Mode('Mercy In You') whose
    song lyrics I quote often. Let me explain the title. According to Peter
    Murphy, 'Kick in the Eye' is about Satori-the search for the meaning
    of life. It just seemed appropriate.  Direct sequel to Something Must
    Break. Thanks to Mary Ann Robinson for challenging me to write it.  Opinions,
    as always, are welcome: 
    
    NC-17 for m/f, m/m (although I don't really get too graphic)  If the
    whole idea of two men together offends you, then don't read on. You'll
    go blind. 
    
                                   Kick In The Eye
                                        By
                                        Rae
                                     
      I can't forgive you, but I can't live without you.  Fraser, please.
    Everytime I had a problem, when I needed to talk , I turned to you and
    now...  How could you do that to me?  I'm your friend, your partner.
    You let them hurt me. And you let them hurt me. You couldn't break the
    silence for me, couldn't save me from the pain. But for Vecchio, you
    didn't hesitate. How could you do that to me? Fraser. My beliefs and
    convictions can't sustain me any longer. I am nothing without you. God,
    when will this end? 
      
    ****
     
    A week has gone by since I got out of the hospital. Welsh thought I needed
    some time off. I don't know. I'd feel better if I were working, anything
    to get my mind off this thing with Fraser. My best friend, the man I
    trusted with my life. I haven't seen him in awhile. We didn't talk after
    the incident in the stockhouse. While I was in the hospital, we didn't
    talk. Fraser's visits became less frequent the closer I got to release
    and then he stopped coming altogether. I acted as though I didn't want
    him there. Since I was discharged, I have deliberately avoided the Consulate.
    I don't want to see him. 
       But he's everything to me. There must be something wrong with me,
    'cause all the relationships I've had in my life have gone to Hell. 
    My father. Stella. And now Fraser. What is wrong with me? Ugh. I have
    to stop thinking about this. It's messing with my head. All I can think
    about is putting a bullet in my brain, making this all go away. Shit,
    I need to get out, just take a stroll or something. Hmm, or something.
    
    *****
    
        The city is so beautiful. I don't think I ever really took notice
    of it before. A calm summer afternoon and the park is full of people.
    Most are students from the nearby university.  I watched a young girl
    struggling with a massive stack of books and wandered how I survived
    through college as long as I did. A man was sunning himself on the grass,
    with a copy of The Canterbury Tales laid out across his bare chest. A
    sharp pain in my side reminded me that I should be at home, resting.
    I took a breath, waiting for it to pass. But it didn't. Again the pain
    came and this time, I let out a soft cry. "Hey, are you ok?" A hand clasped
    my arm. Everything was beginning to spin and I was loosing my equilibrium.
    I felt a hand on my chest, steadying me. "Here sit." I was eased onto
    the warm concrete,  my head resting in a cradling arm. "Just take a deep
    breath." I sighed, closed my eyes. The voice was soft, soothing, but
    seemed so far away. "How do you feel?" The hands came up now, smoothing
    my hair. I opened my eyes, gazing into the concerned face of a young,
    copper-skinned woman. "I'm fine, thanks." I tried to get up, but lost
    my balance at once and she held me back gently. "Here, drink something.",
    she said, handing me a bottle of water. I finished nearly all of it.
    "Thanks.", I whispered. 
    "Hey, no problem.", she replied, pushing a strand of jet black hair behind
    her ear."You gave me a scare." I took a calming breath and stood up with
    her help."Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor or something?"
    I nodded. She was attractive, with large black eyes, a small nose and
    thin lips upon which a small smile was now playing. "Uh, Med student?",
    I asked. A sorry attempt at conversation.  She grinned. "No. Journalism
    actually."
    "Oh." For a moment we just stood, looking at each other. 
    "So,"she said,"shouldn't you be taking it easy? You look pretty banged
    up." I winced, remembering that my face alone told quite a story. "I
    should be, but I have a hard time staying cooped up. I needed to get
    out, get some air." Why was telling her all this? The girl looked at
    her watch. "Tell you what, I don't have anymore classes today and I'm
    not in a mood to study, so would you like to take a walk?" I was surprised
    by the recklessness of this question. "Do  you normally just go around
    picking up strange men?"
    "I don't think you're strange and I'm a very good judge of character.
    Anyway, if I can't trust a cop-" "How did you know I was a cop?" She
    grinned again.
    "You ask too many questions." My quizzical stare made her laugh.
    "Relax. If it makes you feel better, you don't look like one."
    "Really?"
    "No. When I first saw you I thought maybe you were a punk rocker or something."
    "A punk rocker. Hmm." The war cries of  two small boys wielding plastic
    lightsabers distracted me for a moment and then I looked back at her.
    "Disappointed?" Her smile was heart-warming. "No." She tossed her small
    bag over her shoulder. "Ready?" I  chuckled, shaking my head. "You don't
    even know my name." She looked at me, waiting.  I sighed. "Ray Kowalski."
    The girl offered her hand.
    "I'm Wesley. Pleased to meet you, Ray." I shook her hand, surprised by
    the strength of her grip. "Pleasure's all mine."
    
    ****
      
        I took no notice of where we were headed. Wesley led the way, keeping
    up a steady stream of chatter as we walked. She didn't simply talk, but
    engaged me in whatever the conversation was. I ended up spilling small
    things about my childhood, about Stella.  When the subject of work came
    up, her questions were ceaseless. She  had a fair amount of knowledge
    of police procedure, so when I explained certain aspects I was able to
    go into in depth without having to dumb it down. As I suspected she would,
    she asked me about what happened to my face and why I was beaten. This
    wasn't a topic I felt like dwelling on, so I simply replied that some
    bad guys had jumped me and my partner, a Canadian Mountie. Well, former
    partner. That set off another lenghtly group of questions. Who was he?
    What was he like? Why isn't he my partner anymore? Finally I stopped
    and turned to her. "I really don't want to get into it, o.k?" Wesley
    watched me curiously, but nodded. "Fine.", she agreed.
    "Good." But her eyes held a certain hint that she wasn't letting go just
    yet. This girl was definitely going to make a damn fine journalist someday.
    
       Finally she came to a stop. In front of the zoo.
    "Well, here we are." , she said.
    "The zoo?" Wesley nodded. 
    "This is where I come to do my writing. I even study here sometimes."
    I was hesitant, but she linked her hand in mine and dragged me to a small
    cavern-like deal where you could watch the polar bears underwater. "It's
    small and kind of dark, isn't it?", I asked, running my fingers along
    the stone. "Are you claustrophobic, Ray?" I scoffed.
    "Me? No. Of course not." I could feel her eyes on me. "O.k. Fine. I am,
    kind of." "Would you rather we went somewhere else?" I turned to see
    she was perched comfortably on one of the walls. "No. This is fine."
    I found a place beside her and we watched the polar bears. I was surprised
    by their grace, that these giant, lumbering creatures could be so languid.
    In the back of my mind, I heard the beginning of an Inuit story and suddenly
    wished I had not constantly cut them off.  What I wouldn't give to hear
    one now. Oh, shit, I needed to get him outta my mind.  Her small fingers
    ran over the glass, drawing invisible patterns.  " I love animals." she
    whispered. " We had quite a zoo at my house. Had to give away my rabbits
    and box turtle when I came here. But I brought along my gerbils. I miss
    my dog, though." "Where's he?"
    "He lives with my parents, but he's a real handful and they're thinking
    of getting rid of him." "What breed?" This girl was an enigma to me.
    Ever curious about me, but now was the first I was hearing about her.
    "Oh, Rottweiler, labrador mix."
    "Big dog."
    "Enormous. All muscle and no brain, but he's a teddy bear."
    "So you're from out of state?"
    "Yeah. Boca Raton. Suburbia." She chuckled, but I detected a hint of
    sadness about it. "Get homesick, huh?"
    "Yeah. Sometimes. Don't know why. My parents are constantly fighting
    and then my old man and I can't stand each other." A low growl escaped
    her."I hate him." It was the first hint of anger I had seen in her. She
    shook her head suddenly and looked at me with a nervous smile. "Sorry.",
    she murmured sheepishly, " You get along with your old man?" I ran my
    fingers through my hair. "Sometimes." A silence fell over us again, but
    it was not uncomfortable.  Her hand fell on my knee, moving up to my
    thigh. A small shudder rushed through my body.  The sides of her mouth
    were curled in the faintest smile. "I'm hungry. Let's head back to my
    place." I chuckled nervously.
    "Um, well, see this is just dangerous." I gently squeezed the hand that
    pressed into my thigh. "You really- You don't know me. Just because I'm
    a cop doesn't mean shit. You shouldn't trust everyone you meet on the
    street." Her smile grew broad, playful. "I don't trust everyone." I sighed.
    "But you  just invited me to your place and you don't know the first
    thing about me." Wesley stood, throwing her head  back slightly, so her
    black hair bounced against her shoulders. "Are you going to hurt me,
    Ray?", she asked, raising an eyebrow ever so slightly.  I was seduced,
    she had me. "No.", I whispered. She offered me her hand.
    "Then let's go." I took her hand and again let her lead me.
    
    ***
     
    She lived a few blocks off campus in a small but attractive one-room
    apartment.   The floor was hardwood, scatterd with books and papers.
    "Excuse the mess. This whole place is my drawing room." She stepped over
    a stack of Writer's Handbooks and tossed her coat on a chair. "Please,
    sit." As she went over to the CD player I had setlled inyo the stiff
    velvet couch and studied the apartment. Most of her furniture was antique
    and I could see a collection of restoration equipment piled into a cardboard
    box that been placed against the wall. Her CD player and numerous CDs
    were on the third shelf of a wrought-iron bookshelf.  On the fourth shelf
    was a glass aquarium, I assumed housed her gerbils. Beside it was a small
    fish bowl, around which two goldfish swam idly. "There.", she said, satisfied
    and moved away from the player."Well, now, how about some rum?" I shrugged.
    Wesley grinned and went into the kitchen as the music began to play.
    
       Damn. I was out of my head again. Thinking. Remembering.  The Henry
    Allen. I would have died if it weren't for Fraser. As many times as he
    damn near got me killed, he saved my ass too. Saved me from the bad guys,
    sometimes from myself.  Beth Botrelle. Man, he'd kept me sane through
    that.  Everytime I was on the edge, Fraser had pulled me back before
    I could fall.  I was loosing myself in the music now. *...I find you
    in the morning, After dreams of distant signs...*  Oh, Fraser. *...You
    pour yourself over me, Like the sun through the blinds. You lift me up,
    And get me out, Keep you walking, but never shout...* For all those ridiculous
    quirks, those things you do that drive me mad, I'm going mad without
    you. *..Hold the secret close I hear you say....* Why didn't you come
    back? *...You know the way, I throws about, It takes you in, And spits
    you out. It spits you out, When you desire, To conquer it to feel you're
    higher. To follow it, You must be clean, With mistakes that you do mean.
    Move the heart, Switch the pace, Look for what seems out of place...*
    I got up slowly, lost. I wandered into the kitchen.  Wesley was in the
    process of pouring the rum. "Who is this?", I asked. She turned around.
    "Oh, Peter Murphy." 
    "Who?"
    "Peter Murphy. Lead singer of Bauhuas." I shake my head. 
    "Who?" She laughed.
    "Nevermind." I took the glass she held out to me and followed her into
    the living room. "Are you even old enough to be drinking?", I asked as
    we sat down on the sette. "Maybe."
    "You know, if you're not of legal age..." I couldn't finish the sentence.
    "What are you going to do, arrest me?" She was amused. I sighed.
    "Well, look, just one glass. Don't get drunk. I'm not going to take anymore,
    either." She grinned playfully. "Don't worry, Ray. I promise not to take
    advantage of you." We fell into silence then. Even as I drank I could
    feel her eyes on me. "This is bumming you out, isn't it?", she asked
    suddenly.
    "What?"
    "The music." 
    "No, it's fine." She was still staring at me. Damnit. Everytime I lied
    she caught me in it. "It is." I shook my head. "It just reminds me of
    someone." 
    "Oh.", she whispered sympathically,"I can change it."
    "You don't have to do-" But she was already at the player, putting in
    another CD. "What's that?", I asked as she came back. placed the glass
    on the table as a creepy guitar intro began. "Bauhaus." I raised an eyebrow.
    "Isn't it the same thing?"
    "No." The music was slow, seductive but it had a dark tone about it.
    was moving to it, her hips twisting sensually.  Her eyes were closed,
    lost to the music, but her hand extended to me in offering and I took
    it.  Her body moved against mine invitingly, hands already pushing the
    jacket over my shoulders. And then that voice.  *..White on white, Translucent
    black cape, Back on the rack, Bela Lugosi's dead, The bats have left
    the belltower, The victims have been bled, Red velvet lines the black
    box, Bela Lugosi is dead...* "Oh yeah,", I murmured, "this is romantic."
    A small moan from her. She was pushing my shirt higher and higher. For
    a moment I released her and pulled the cumbersome thing over my head.
    Her hands massaged my shoulders, moved down over my chest, stopped at
    the waist band of my jeans. Still moving to the music, she slipped down,
    her tongue pushing against my bellybutton, then leaving a warm, moist
    trail over my adomen, my chest. She kissed my neck.  My fingers, creeping
    up over her waist, now found a small opening in her button-down shirt
    and slipped through. But she grabbed my hands quickly and put them behind
    her. Our lips met. Her kiss was one that took my breath away, so fiery
    and full of yearning. She pulled away and trailed kisses down my neck.
    I felt her hand between my legs, massaging, stroking and I jumped, gasped,
    looking down at her. A mischievious glint in her eyes. Her lips found
    my right nipple and sucked gently. I groaned. My knees were weak. It
    was hard to believe I was still standing. She applied more pressure and
    then nipped that senstive area. Hard enough to make me yelp, and nearly
    push her back. But now her hand linked into mine and she led me into
    her bedroom. In the darkness, zll I could make out, all I needed to make
    out was the bed. "I love you.", I murmured as she slipped my pants over
    my hips.
     Her passion was an extension of her personality- fierce, fiery. When
    it was over, every inch of my body ached, but I felt spent, used and
    for the first time since the stockhouse, I fell into a deep uninterrupted
    sleep. 
    
    ****
    
         Wesley was already up when I awoke. She was sitting up in bed, knees
    drawn to her chest. Somehow, she sensed I was also stirring. "Ray, tell
    me about this friend of yours, the Mountie." I rolled over. "You woke
    up to ask me that?"
    "I'm curious." Everytime I thought I had this girl figured out she came
    up with some other baffling remark to throw me off. "He's no friend of
    mine, to start with."
    "But he was."
    "Yeah. But things happen." Music drifted in from the living room. The
    voice was vaguely familiar and I strained to put a name to it. "Depeche
    Mode?"  
    "Yeah. Songs of Faith and Devotion.  Don't change the subject. What things?"
    "How is this your business?" That question was hurtful and after it was
    said, I regretted it at once. There was no reply from her. "Look, he
    let something happen to me, that could have been prevented.", I explained,
    pulling myself into a sitting position beside her. "Like letting someone
    beat the shit out of you for instance?" I kept forgotting my physical
    appearance, the bruises and cuts that were slow in healing. "Something
    like that."
    "Did he mean to?"
    "No. He was doing his duty. It's not about that." Slowly I went through
    the story of what had happened in the stockhouse. I left out names and
    specifics, but left enough for to get the general idea. She listened
    carefully to every word and never interrupted. It reminded me of Fraser.
    I sighed. "A few hours can change everything." A pause. "It's just that
    I really miss him, you know?" Her hand rested on my shoulder. "Fraser
    probably misses you too." The name on her lips shot a fear through me.
    "How did you know his name?" Wesley chuckled at my apparent edginess.
    "You mumbled it in your sleep. Two and two together." I lowered my head,
    lost again in thoughts of him. And then I felt her fingers run over my
    arm, tracing patterns in the flesh. "You're in love with him." She smiled,
    but a hint of sympathy sat behind the light of it. To hear this whispered
    in the sub-concious of  my mind was one thing, but to hear it said out
    loud.... Perhaps I'd known it all along. "Maybe. I don't know. What I
    feel for him-Damnit! It's just so frustrating." "Why don't you tell him?"
    I scoffed rudely.
    "Oh, yeah, it's that easy. See,  I'm not a fag. He's-"
    "Please don't use that word."
    "What?"
    "Fag. I find it prejudical and offensive."
    "Sorry."
    "You were saying."
    "Well, I'm not a f- I'm not like that and neither is he."
    "You're in love with him, Ray. I don't think that makes you gay." "What
    the hell do you call it?"
    "Love. That's it. Most people are attracted by the drive to reproduce
    or they're just really horny. It brought us together." This comment annoyed
    me. "You think I slept with you out of some kind of  force of nature?"
    "Well, that and as a means of escape."
    "Is that what it was to you?" I was hurt by the lack of regard she had
    for what we had shared. "It was enjoyable, a distraction from all the
    studying-"  Distraction?! I was enfuriated. "Great. A distraction. Well,
    I'm glad it was so simple for you. Casual, meaningless sex-" I started
    to get up, but she clasped my shoulder. "Ray, don't. Please. It wasn't
    meaningless. I'm  just trying to make a point. You're not in love with
    me. You're in love with Fraser. And he may be the only man you are ever
    attracted to. Being gay or straight, that has nothing to do with it.
    You're attracted to who he is." She sighed, tracing my jawline with her
    fingers. "We don't choose who we fall in love with. There is the person
    we were meant to be with and then there's everyone else." "I thought
    my ex-wife was the person I was supposed to be with.  I mean, I still
    love her." "Maybe. An hour ago you told me you loved me. And I don't
    doubt that you do, but you're not in love with either of us." "No." I
    sighed.
    "But what if he doesn't-What if he doesn't-What if he's disgusted by
    me?" "He won't be."
    "How the hell can you be so sure?"
    "Woman's intuition." I laughed. She petted my hair, flattening and then
    teasing it again into spikes. "Alright. Look, I have to study. So you
    don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." I climbed out of bed,
    unconciously pulling the sheet around me waist. This resulted in an amused
    giggle from her. "Nothing there I haven't seen before, Ray. And I did
    enjoy the view I got before." I could feel the color rush to my cheeks.
    "And that's the last view you're going to get.", I replied. Wesley laughed.
    "Can I have some privacy please?" An exaggerated pout crossed her lips.
    "Oh, fine. She bounded off the vanity and walked slowly to the door.
    I should have seen it coming. As she passed me, the nibble little fingers
    reached out and ripped the sheet away from me. I turned immedietly, but
    she had already darted out the door, the pleasant strains of her laughter
    echoing in the kitchen. 
    
    ****
    
      I stood outside her door, not ready to say good-bye. We looked at each
    other for a long time. "There's something I want to give you.", she said,
    holding the Depeche Mode CD toward me. "For you and Fraser." I shook
    my head. "I couldn't-" She pushed it into my chest.
    "Take it anyway." I sighed and tucked it into my jacket pocket. Back
    again to staring at each other now. Always hated good-byes. "You're disappointed.",
    I said. There was no question about that.  Wesley sighed, her eyes focused
    on the floor. "If I 'no',  I'd be lying." I cupped her chin and tilted
    her head up so she was forced to look at me. "I would have liked to have
    had a relationship with you, Ray. But I'm a selfish woman. If I'm with
    someone, I expect them to be with me. Completely, body and soul. I couldn't
    stand it if their heart belonged to anyone else." I had to smile. "Well,
    I should really probably get back to-", she said, gesturing inside. "Oh,
    yeah. Yeah." I agreed, but neither of us moved. She chuckled softly,
    folding her arms over her chest. I took a deep breath and leaned into
    the doorframe. "You know, these past few days, I felt like uh, I don't
    know, like I could've put a bullet in my head.  Felt like my life was
    crumbling. I spend a few hours with you and everything's back together."
    The ghost of a smile stood in her ink black eyes. "A few hours can change
    everything." I smiled.
    "I don't know what to say."
    "Thank you would suffice." I wrapped my arms around her, embracing her
    a final time. "I love you.", I murmured.
    "I love you, too." When I let her go, she ruffled my hair playfully.
    "Take care of yourself, Ray. You deserve your happiness." She offered
    a parting smile, before shutting the door. 
    
    ****
       
       When Ray Kowalski got into his car, something in his jacket poked
    him hard in the side. Reaching into the pocket he recovered the Depeche
    Mode CD.  He opened it up to discover a small note tucked inside the
    front cover: 'Track 4. For when you are together.' Ray smiled to himself.
    He was curious, but nevertheless put the CD back into his jacket as he
    pulled the car away from the curb.  For a good hour he drove around blindly,
    going about in a circle. He didn't realize this until he'd passed apartment
    for the fifth time. O.k. All night he'd been avoiding the real issue
    and now it was time to face the demon....or rather the angel. He made
    an illegal U-turn then and headed off in the direction of the Consulate.
    Constable Benton Fraser awoke suddenly to Diefenbaker's deep warning
    snarl. The wolf stared in the direction of the window, fur bristled,
    teeth bared, ears laid back. Fraser squinted trying to make out a dark
    silhouette, lined sliver by the moonlight. "Hey, Fraser. Wanna call off
    your wolf?" Ray was crouched on the sill like a gargoyle. Ben relaxed
    and climbed out of bed. "Dief." He snapped his fingers and the animal
    sat back. Ray lept off the sill and walked toward his friend.  Benny
    was pale, tired, as if he hadn't been sleeping well and he looked like
    he'd lost some weight. "You've been a stranger lately, Frase." Benton
    lowered his head.
    "I wasn't sure you wanted to see me." Ray sighed.
    "Well, to be honest, I didn't for awhile. But, um, I can't hate you forever."
    He offered a humorless smile. Benny's voice was soft, vunerable. "I'm
    so sorry, Ray. Whatever pain I've caused you, ever, I'm so sorry." Kowalski
    turned away, his resolve beginning to crack. "Why did you do it, Fraser?",
    he asked wearily.
    "I had to protect Ray Vecchio. He's out there, isolated." Fraser took
    a breath before speaking again, "I watched them beat you and I said nothing.
    That was cowardly.  But at least you weren't alone and I wasn't alone.
    Through everything that happened in that stockhouse,  we had each other,
    Ray.  But Ray Vecchio, he's alone.  And I thought it even more cowardly
    to stay silent, to let them hurt him and let him die a far more terrible
    death....and die alone. I couldn't let that happen." Ray closed his eyes.
    Suddenly his anger seemed selfish and petty. "Damn. Fraser, I can't-I'm
    such a piece of shit." The Mountie shook his head. "No, Ray. What I did
    to you was unforgivable. Whatever hatred you have for me is justified
    and I will not bother you any longer." Ray swallowed, his stomach leaping
    up. "Well, that's a problem Frase, because this last week has been Hell
    without you." He took a cautious step closer to the Mountie. "I need
    you, Fraser. I love you." No sooner were the words out of his mouth,
    that he regretted it. Ben did not reply, only stared wide-eyed at the
    smaller man before him.  Ray turned away, tears stinging his eyes. Oh,
    this was a bad idea. "Of course. Why would you want me, right? I mean,
    you have all these women throwing themselves at you and it is kind of
    ridiculous of me to think that you would want my scrawny ass." He laughed
    humorlessly,  fighting back the urge to cry, " It's late. I've got some
    stuff to do tomorrow, so I'm just gonna go now. S-sorry I bothered you.
    You need your sleep too. I mean, 'cause you look tired." Ray rambled,
    as he did when he was upset. But as he turned to go, Fraser caught him
    and pinned him against the wall. Benny shook his head. "Ray.", he whispered,
    stroking the detective's unshaven face "How could I ever want anyone
    else but you?" These loving words caught Ray off guard and suddenly he
    felt very foolish. "Oh." Ben smiled and kissed him.
    "I love you.", the Mountie murmured.   At that moment, Kowalski surrendered
    to him completely. Benny moved him to the bed and they lay down, still
    locked in an affectionate kiss. A hard pointed edge pressed into Benny's
    belly and he rose up, running his fingers over Ray's jacket. "Ray, what-"
    The detective gasped and sat up, pulling out the CD. "I almost forgot."
    He rolled off the bed and went to the CD player. "What is it, Ray?" The
    Mountie's curiousity was captured.
    "Just a suggestion.", Kowalski replied as he found track 4.  As the first
    soft chords filled the room, Ray slid in next to Fraser and picked up
    where they had left off.  The past week's wounds seemed to heal in the
    of this loving pursuit.  *..You know what I need, When my heart bleeds,
    I suffer from greed...*   Hands explored and caressed, but there was
    no desperation or rush.   *...A longing to feed, On the mercy in you...*
    To be close, to be together was enough. *..I can't conceal, The way I'm
    healed, The pleasure I feel, When I have to deal, With the mercy in you....*
    Benny didn't make an attempt to push any further, and allowed the detective
    to set the pace.  *...I would do it all again, Lose my way and fall again,
    Just so I could call again, On the mercy in you...*   Ray sat up suddenly
    and pulled his shirt over his head. Benny smiled, his heart jumping at
    the smooth, pale chest that was now slightly flushed with heat.   *...When
    here in my mind, I feel inclined to treat you unkind, I have faith I
    will find, The mercy in you...*  As Ray settled beneath him, he lightly
    touched the detective's belly and relished the little shudder that shook
    Ray's body.  He moved his finger further up, keeping his touch soft.
    Kowalskli moaned; his head began to swim as it had in the park, but he
    didn't want to recover from this. Never recover.  Fraser's lips found
    the hallow of Ray's throat and starting there,  trailed affectionate
    little kisses down the other man's body. Kowalski half-closed his eyes,
    drawn in by his lover's body and the seduction of the music. This was
    heaven. *....I would loose my way again, Be led hopelessly astray again,
    Just so I could pray again, For the mercy in you....*   He felt Fraser's
    tougue slip into the waistband of his jeans and he arched off the bed.
    "Aw, jeez..." Benny smiled at the incoherent mumbles from Ray as the
    detective ran his hands over his shoulders. "Frase." The Mountie raised
    his head."Clothes." Benton nodded and slipped out of his longjohns and
    stripped the detective of his shoes and pants. He descended on Ray, rubbing
    against the smaller man like a cat. Kowalski groaned, barely able to
    manage a single audible through the haze of arousal and pleasure. Benton
    ran his fingers over the dark bruises on his face as if he meant to be
    rid of them and suddenly he was transported back to the stockhouse, handcuffed
    to those pipes, brass knuckles...  Gazing into his lover's blue eyes,
    Ray felt tears rise slowly, blurring his vision. Fraser stroked his chin.
    "What is it?" Kowalski sighed, shaking his head. But his lips trembled.
    Benny's hand came beneath him and pulled him into a sitting postion.
    He cradled the detective in his arms. "Ray." A small sob escaped Kowalski,
    muffled against Benny. 
    "What do you need, Ray?", Ben whispered, rubbing his back. He sighed.
    What do I need? What do I need? I need to be possessed, I need to be
    claimed.  Ray sat back, running his fingers over Ben's lips. "Make love
    to me." A voice so vunerable. Fraser smiled and nodded.  As  Benny moved
    back against the headboard, Kowalski turned around. Hands on his shoulders
    eased him back gently. Benny's strong chest pressed against his back
    and he felt Fraser's arm hug his waist. Ray sighed contentedly, covering
    his lover's hand with his own.  Fraser's other hand came around his face,
    fingers caressing his lips. Kowalski's tongue wrapped around those long
    fingers, sucking them hard. This action roused the animal in Benny. Every
    bond of control fell away.  He buried his face into the side of  Ray's
    neck, nipping and sucking at the flesh. Kowalski gasped, rising and Fraser
    plunged into him. The cry from Ray was shattering, but Benny never wavered.
    The detective bucked violently with every thrust and Fraser had to clasp
    his waist tightly to keep him from flying off the bed completely. Benton
    felt Kowalski's teeth shut tight on his fingers and he pressed harder
    into his lover. The climax came in a incredible fusion of lights and
    sound, leaving them both utterly exhausted and dazed. Ray sighed. He
    inched out from beneath Fraser and he rolled over onto his back. Sweat
    rolled down his face and his chest heaved in an effort for breath. "Frase?",
    he gasped. An equally spent Mountie raised his head.
    "Yes, Ray?" Kowalski looked at him, the faintest hint of a grin playing
    across his face. "Are we partners again?" Ben smiled wearily.
    "Yes, Ray."  
    
    


End file.
